May 2013
86 posts
moonpie24 asked: Your blog is a beautiful thing and I love seeing updates pop up almost every day! Question though, how come you don't read Batman Beyond Unlimited? Just curious since you get all the other Bat titles. PS-your icon from LazyTown is epic!
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Legion of Super-heroes #20
But he’s just a monstrous baby! I wonder what his first words will be?!
I don’t do a whole lot of photoshopping on the comics these days and when I do, I don’t usually point it out. I’m only pointing it out this time to say this: whenever an image is photoshopped here on Eee! Tess Ate Chai Tea, I’m the one who did it. In some ways, I don’t use Tumblr...
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“Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare...”
– Bill Watterson (via mikekarnell)
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Red Hood and the Outlaws #20
Roy is pondering forgetting the last year with Lobdell as well.
I wonder if DC would be willing to put The New 52 on hiatus for a few months so I can take a break from comic book blogging! I try to do two issues a day to keep up and even that is a bit overwhelming. I’ve barely had any time to play Bioshock Infinite! I did a couple of half-assed internet searches to try to find someone...
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Wonder Woman #20
I wonder when Wonder Woman is going to be about Wonder Woman?
I’m enjoying this comic book a lot but let’s not fool ourselves. This comic book is barely about Wonder Woman. It’s possible that’s why it works. Wonder Woman has been made interesting within the contexts of her decisions during this crisis of the gods. We see her belief in justice as she protects Zola’s...
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“After a conversation I had on Facebook this morning, I feel the need to go write...”
– Tess Ate Chai Tea, Master Comic Book Reader and Dancing, Singing Orange Penguin.
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Supergirl #20
Power Girl was so upset her boobs weren’t the focal point of last issue’s cover, she killed Supergirl to claim focal boobage. Perhaps it was meant to distract people from noticing Michael Alan Nelson’s name was spelled wrong.
This is the third issue in a row to have a different writer. That can’t bode well for the comic, can it? Perhaps the editors are simply telling the...
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Sword of Sorcery #8
Eclipso knows how to satisfy the ladies!
Here’s the secret to writing: don’t give a shit what anybody thinks! There might be some other secrets as well. Like exaggerate as much as possible. And maybe create unlikable characters that people really like to dislike. Also always tell the truth when lying as much as possible. That one is pretty important. Never letting your spouse or...
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vivvav replied to your quote: My body would be so incredibly fit right now if… Except the amount of cookies you eat IS related to how fit you are, just not in a positive way.
I don’t have time to respond to this because I need to begin my workout now. *munch munch munch*
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“My body would be so incredibly fit right now if fitness were directly related to...”
– Tess Ate Chai Tea!, Master Comic Book Reader and Snackersizer.
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“Amethyst sold out Gemworld for a slice of pizza. That’s just fucking...”
– Tess Ate Chai Tea!, Master Comic Book Reader and Freeloading Dickface.
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Nightwing #20
The Prankster uses a special kind of electricity that doesn’t shine any light.
Dick Grayson is in Chicago trying to find Tony Zucco, the man that killed his parents. He’s also the man inadvertently responsible for him becoming Nightwing, if you’re one of those weirdos that tries to see the positive in everything. He’s renting out a room in some crappy little apartment....
jenstansfield asked: Hi. Not sure how to start this off so I'll just come out with it - I love what you're doing here. I read a lot of your reviews, even the ones for books I don't follow. (I'm actually debating picking up Nightwing based on your stuff.) They're interesting, they're fun, and I really enjoy your writing style. Anyway. Sorry about the unsolicited "OMG, you are, like,...
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Vibe #4
How can you be betrayed by somebody whose trust you’ve never earned in the first place? Punch him in the throat, Batman!
Vibe has begun to get suspicious of A.R.G.U.S. and Agent Gunn and Amanda Waller. I would say it’s about time but he’s actually come to the realization much quicker than I would have expected. Perhaps he’ll run into Batman as he’s investigating...
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“So Geoff Johns is already off Vibe. I realized he was only on the thing to give...”
– Tess Ate Chai Tea, Master Comic Book Reader and Mean-spirited Shitheel.
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Batgirl #20
Thanks a lot, Gail and Daniel. Now people are going to cosplay this Ventriloquist and I’m going to continuously be running and screaming through every convention I go to.
Let me guess: Alysia is going to play Hitori Kakurenbo and unleash this horror on Gotham? That would actually be a pretty good origin story for a horrible supernatural villain.
Also, Batgirl no longer has a diary...
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Threshold #5
I’ve always considered “Brainiac” to be the most egotistical, narcissistic name a villain could choose for himself. Besides maybe Gigantic Penis.
I couldn’t think up a more egotistical name than Brainiac that a female superhero could use because Gigantic Vagina doesn’t have the same ring to it. Besides, the actual joke is about men and their brains and their...
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I have a confession to make: I am in love with Threshold’s back-up story. It’s witty and intelligent and silly and whimsical and goofy and smart and has a crazy, beautiful art style. It’s what I want in my comic books. Let’s have less sad comic books putting their lead characters though misery and more crazy, over-the-top, fun and smart comic books. Mature content does not have to mean death and...
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Demon Knights #20
I wonder if Octopi feel slandered and defamed because of Hentai? Because I can’t see a fucking tentacle anymore without believing it’s in search of an open orifice.
The Demon Knights have saved Themyscira by killing all the vampires. Although Cain escaped so he’s sure to go make more vampires before The Demon Knights can lock him up inside of Andrew Bennett. And The Shining...
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Speaking of Revelations, isn’t it somewhere in that Biblical book where they speak about the Mark of the Beast? Oh yes, here it is. Revelations 13:16-17: “And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads: And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the...
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Batman and Red Hood #20
At least this takes place before Jason Todd became Not Jason Todd.
Oh man. Bruce Wayne is in for a serious verbal bitch slapping from Jason Todd. I can only imagine what Todd is feeling. He’s watching Batman drop everything to run around the world to find a way to bring Damian back to life. And yet when Todd died, what did Batman do? No, seriously. What did he do? I don’t remember...
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Deathstroke #20
It’s strange that Majestic is the big threat in this issue and yet here we get Terra on the cover.
John Lynch has a problem. He manipulated the genes of a man named Bronson so that when Bronson’s meta-gene was activated by a creature named Spartan, Bronson would become a living god. But now Lynch doesn’t like the idea of having a living god that he isn’t in control of...
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The Ravagers #12
Time to put The Ravagers out of their misery. It was ungrammatical knowing you.
Ridge is on the cover so I have a feeling Deathstroke’s PokeDagger is going to get broken. I think he’ll make nice with Rose Wilson and realize he doesn’t owe Harvest shit. This will lead him to break his contract with Harvest which is something the best mercenaries in the DC Universe never do. So...
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Team 7 #8
Single Red Rose. Romantic Lightning. Pandora’s Box Exploding From Being Touched. This was a good date!
Last issue I mentioned how confused I was about the creation of Majestic. I thought I’d cleared it all up and decided that Kaizen Gammora had sent Spartan to activate Majestic so that Kaizen would have the chance to kill a God. And then I opened this issue to the first page. So...
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Suicide Squad #20
With a change of writers, I’m hoping more people than just Lime Light will end up dying. Fucking Adam Glass! How hard is it to make Suicide Squad successful? You change up the team every few issues, you kill off old B-List villains hardly anybody remembers, and you put Captain Boomerang on the team! That one sentence was a more successful issue than any Adam Glass wrote!
Last issue...
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Constantine #3
Juan Jose Ryp, I am not your fan.
Instead of getting snarky with no pants wearing male demons and doing drugs and cursing like a man quickly using up the final reserves of his Vitamin C, John Constantine is playing Indiana Jones and trying to save the world. He’s running about the world collecting magical antiquities to store in his pet store basement apartment. I think one of the rules...
superricebro asked: Just read your Superboy review. Bunker mentions EssBee saving the bank from 'Plastic...' but is cut off. I sure hope they don't mean Plastic Man. Since his failed attempt at a cameo in JLI and repeated rumors of his return to comics I'd hate to have him be a criminal after the horrendous act that was Adam Glass writing him in Flashpoint. Opinions?
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Superboy #20
Could this be the Superboy everybody has been waiting for?!
It’s nice to see how much pull I finally have with DC’s decision making. I wanted Tom DeFalco off of Superboy and he was replaced by Justin Jordan. Sure, there was an interim Scott Lobdell issue but I think he’s their go to guy for fill-ins since he doesn’t waste time researching characters or bothering with...
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Red Robin declares that they are ‘The Teen Titans!’ and Bunker says,
Sexy? Maybe if they were the Barely Legal Titans!
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In Which I Spend A Brief Moment Discussing Bart...
At point five, we see he can pee at superspeed. And at the end, he has to guess a four digit code on the panel to open the way out. That means he’s got to guess from, assuming a pad with the digits 0-9, 10,000 possibilities.
This brings me to a problem with superspeed. Just because an outside observer would see him guess the combination within a few seconds, from his perspective,...
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Katana #4
How come The Creeper was able to reform after being freed from Soultaker? Why did the other souls just dissipate or float away?
DC has done some pretty egregious things in their pursuit of money but I can forgive all of them. All of them except for this comic book. I take this personally. I was excited about a Katana solo comic book! She was going to be free of Duane...
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superricebro replied to your post:
elwang said: You can reply to replies by locating…
If I may, I will suggest XKit for Tumblr. It’s a much better designed app that places all the features on the forefront, and has more versatility than Missing E. Trying it now. Testing!
Ah yes! Very nice....
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One thing I despise is when having a debate about religion with someone and they try to tie it all up afterward with, “I guess it’s just a matter of faith.” And this is done in such a way as to suggest not having faith is some sort of character flaw. Well let me say that I believe having faith is some sort of mental illness!
Fuck you, too! I didn’t want you reading my...
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In Which I Notice Another Inconsistency in DC's...
In Superboy #4, Caitlin Fairchild tells Superboy, “I’m immune to telekinetics. All thirteen of us are.”
Ignoring that she should have said “telekinesis”, she seems to imply that she understands she is a clone. But in Ravagers #11, Caitlin is surprised to find that she’s a clone. I wish I could blame this error on Scott Lobdell but I can’t.
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elwang said: You can reply to replies by locating your own original post in the dash and then expanding the notes. There’s an option to reply to the message there. Badly designed and inconvenient, just like the New 52!
Thanks! Although I had to download “Missing e” to get the option. And then I have to copy the reply to paste the reply in the reply’s reply! But it’s...
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Batman #20
This surprise cover is for everyone that picked up this issue but didn’t read last issue.
Last issue, we learned that Clayface loves shoving his junk down people’s throats. He also ends up incorporating other people’s junk into his being so that he can turn into an exact clone of those people, right down to the DNA. Commissioner Gordon was also shot in the chest by a shotgun...
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Action Comics #20
Is Superman going to give birth to this thing from his altered DNA? If so, out of what orifice?!
Last issue, Lex Luthor came up with a plan so smart that it didn’t make any sense to me. That’s how I know Lex Luthor is a super genius! Because I can’t understand anything he fucking does! He injected some DNA rewriting virus into Superman via a kryptonite-tipped hypodermic needle...
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Through most of my internet history, I’ve mostly been a lurker on blogs and forums and such. I guess that’s true of my time in real life college classes as well, much to the vexation of my American Studies’ professor, Dr. Guenter. Having said that, I just want to say how much I appreciate everybody that comments and participates with me on my journey through The New 52. I only...
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The Phantom Stranger #8
Why do these guys give any fucks about Phantom Stranger?
As you can see from the cover, last issue Phantom Stranger was stabbed through the chest by Terrence Thirteen using the Spear of Destiny. Or maybe just a normal spear he kept in the umbrella stand by the door. Now he’s dead or dying and Frankenstein is terribly upset about it. Perhaps this whole thing is reminding him of a...
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bootless-errand asked: Hello! I just wanted to thank you for reviewing the Penguin's appearances. Having read your commentary involving the character, I'm aware you are not a fan of Oswald Cobblepot, but I'm grateful to you for covering him anyway. I've loved old waddlebutt since I was a little girl and I love reading people's thoughts concerning him, so, seriously, thank you, it's highly...
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Detective Comics #20
At least he wasn’t unleashed.
Ignatius Ogilvy has got an inferiority complex. Why does he hate himself so much? There’s no other explanation! Why would you go from a pretty cushy life being The Penguin’s right-hand man to being the top dog crimelord in Gotham if you didn’t want to be beaten to a pulp? Wouldn’t it have been easier to simply take a shit on...
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This story is still going on? Batwoman arrives with Kirk Langstrom and Francine in tow. Kirk mentions how this is all his fault but he knows how to fix the problem! All he needs is a hot air balloon, a really powerful fan, and some hot man on bat pornography. Luckily Batman has two out of three of those. And he knows of a place to rent balloons.
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Swamp Thing #20
Superman would do anything to guest star his way out of his own book.
I wonder if Scott Lobdell is just tired of writing comic books. Maybe somebody just needs to give him an uplifting pep talk to get him back on track! I’ve been assured by a number of people that they enjoyed Scott Lobdell back when he was writing Young X-Men or whatever it was called. But then most of those people were...
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In Which I Give Voice to the Plants of DC's Swamp...
“PRUNE HIS APPENDAGES, SWAMPY!”
“MULCH HIM!”
“COMPOST HIM!”
“POLLINATE HIS FACE!”
“NO, NO! POLLINATE MY FACE!”
“NO! MINE!”
“YOU CAN POLLINATE MY ROOTS!”
I think that might be the first time I’ve ever written Plant Porn.
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Superboy’s answer to the stupid teacher’s stupid question: “2300 A.M. Mars Standard Time according to the universal chronal chart established by Salvator Grotto in 1856.”
I hope Salvator Grotto appears in All Star Western so he can explain this stupidity!
Fucking Lobdell.
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“If we’re three hundred thousand light-years from Mars and traveling at the speed of light and we’re trying to reach New York City, Earth by breakfast, what time would we have to leave the red hallow?”
