May 2012
89 posts
12 tags
Green Lantern #8
Don’t run from the Indigo Lanterns! They just want to hug!
Sinestro spends the first six pages of Issue #8 trying to escape the clutches of the Indigo Tribe. He fails.
Hal Jordan has a bit of a chat with Black Hand to help the new reader learn some things. The Indigo Tribe bases its powers on compassion. What they feel is empathy for whoever they are interacting and thus they are...
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Green Lantern #7
The secret probably won’t make any sense to me anyway.
The Indigo Tribe have a meeting about Sinestro. I did a little reading on the Indigo Tribe and it sounds like their Corps is composed of people who had done evil things in the past. This might be why the vision showed Sinestro as a member of the Indigo Tribe and why the indigo tribe is currently having this meeting.
I think...
April 2012
98 posts
10 tags
Green Lantern #6
Hal Jordan is Sinestro’s bitch.
The most important thing to remember from the end of last issue is Hal declared the only thing he really wants is a working Green Lantern Ring. And maybe that The Guardians are about to start a third iteration of the Green Lantern Corps. And maybe that Hal is trying to really make it work with Carol Ferris although he definitely has ulterior motives there...
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Demon Knights #8
The Companions triumphant, they make their way to the Royal Court of Alba Sarum to be rewarded as heroes!
The art in this comic book is far better than the majority of the other 51.
While riding in the cart to Alba Sarum, Madame Xanadu tells the rest of her companions how she came to be in a relationship with Jason Blood and Etrigan. We’ve seen that she tells each that she only...
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Demon Knights #7
At this point, Etrigan will grab her foot, say the incantation, and take HER prisoner in Hell!
While the village is being overrun by The Queen’s army, Jason Blood plots some plan in Hell that involves Father Theod, the priest from the village that Etrigan sent to hell out of pure wickedness.
Can Blood bring demons, devils, or lost souls back with him to Earth?
Outside the village,...
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Demon Knights #6
This sounds so derogatory. As if Amazons were merely dogs that had to be controlled.
Vandal Savage has abandoned the Demon Knights to join the evil side because they have a bigger army and better weapons and a greater chance of success. But I wonder: has Vandal ever been on the winning side of a battle? Doesn’t he realize the good guys always win? And while most of the Demon Knights...
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Deathstroke #8
This looks like one of those crappy one issue stories where Deathstork Deathstroke murders thousands of soldiers all by himself and puts down a rogue nation single-handedly.
Slade begins this issue with a flashback to show how big an asshole his father was. I thought his father was also some kind of a warrior type but he’s just a lousy conman that owes everyone money.
Slade needs to...
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Deathstroke #7
Surprise! Legacy Four is Ravager!
Immediately after Deathstroke’s big battle with the super powered Legacy, he’s off to confront Grant at April’s parents’ mansion. He goes before he has the proper time to heal because he doesn’t want Grant to disappear. And why does he need time to heal anyway? Grant is just a big loser who never wanted to be the best anyway!...
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Deathstroke #6
Simon Bisley is not supposed to make touching covers. The End.
When last we left Deathstroke, he had just been pummeled by a Nuclear Submarine. That’s why this issue begins with a flashback to Ravager throwing a teeny, tiny dagger at rich and/or important people. I guess I didn’t need to add that second conjunction in that last sentence. I’m writing this in America where the...
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Resurrection Man #8
This cover is completely stupid. Stupider even.
Resurrection Man #8 begins with two additional people looking for Mitch Shelley: a detective named Kim Rebecki who uses Psychometry (psychically finding people?) and a guy named The Butcher who uses Necromancy. Besides these guys, the Gotham Police and all law enforcement agents want him because he escaped from the Gotham Police morgue Arkham...
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Resurrection Man #7
Every time Mitch is killed, all of his past offenses should be forgiven, right?
Mitch escaped Arkham by getting his head blown off. Now he’s on the run and he’s found himself in Metropolis reading articles by some schlub named Clark Kent.
Maybe the rest of his article deals with the people driven out and displaced by the process. No wonder Superman and Batman don’t get...
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Resurrection Man #6
I think the hand directly beneath the K belongs to Zsasz.
Five days after the end of the last issue, Mitch continues to be restrained in Arkham Asylum. Nobody there believes his stories of resurrection. Hopefully something in this story will explain how he went from Portland to Gotham by way of being disintegrated by an angel.
The doctor studying his case must be another ESL character.
...
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Batwoman #8
Did Gotham City ever go with a ‘Got Ham?’ tourism campaign?
This issue continues the big fight that was about to start at the end of last issue. And it apparently started before the reader arrived!
Get it? She’s a lesbian! So she needs her mouth just as much as she needs her vagina!
When I was in elementary school, I was naive and innocent for a long time. If I’d...
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Batwoman #7
I’m having difficulty seeing how the font and style of this title relate to Batwoman. Except, you know, it spells ‘Batwoman’.
This issue begins with “Batwoman’s Story. Now” so it looks like we’re going to continue with the ripped asunder narrative from last issue. I like when stories are told in ways other than chronologically. But this format is...
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Batwoman #6
What happened to the stylized covers? Now this is just another normal comic book!
It’s too bad J.H. Williams isn’t doing the art anymore. The striking difference in look from the other comics was a big plus to the feel of this series. Now the new artist draws in the standard style but is still trying to keep the same loose and misty feeling. It just looks uncomfortable.
Last...
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Teen Titans #8
Taste the Teen Rainbow.
The Teen Titans encountered Harvest at the end of last issue and even though there wasn’t a fight (okay, okay. There was one page where Harvest mentioned he was controlling them completely. You know, just like that. Easy peasy), this issue begins with the Teen Titans captured and being tortured by yet another new villain named Omen. Haven’t all the words in...
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Superboy #8
Grunge bested both Heavy Metal and Hard Rock who only mastered very specific matter.
The last issue of Superboy was actually Teen Titans #7. Superboy was rescued by the Teen Titans. But then at the end of that issue, they were stopped just short of leaving via Danny by some villain named Harvest. This issue picks up from there.
No, no, just kidding! This issue begins with Superboy sparring...
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Teen Titans #7
When is DC going to force Scott Lobdell to just merge these two titles? The stories have become completely entwined and Lobdell continually retells parts of one comic in the pages of the other except with a different artist. How much of Superboy #7 is going to be retold here in the pages of Teen Titans #7?
The comic begins with Superboy being blasted by a laser while he’s shoved into...
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Teen Titans #6
How many issues until Skitters dies?
Last issue, the Teen Titans got beat up by Superboy. This issue begins with the police trying to arrest them while Kid Flash is dying from being psionically accelerated.
The detective leading up the police force trying to arrest the Teen Titans is the detective from Superboy that has Gen-13 in her apartment. The Titans try to talk their way out of being...
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Superboy #7
Is everyone immune to Telekinesis? I’m pretty sure I am!
Superboy has recently defeated the Teen Titans in order to kidnap Wonder Girl. But he changed his mind and decided to go beat up NOWHERE instead. Issue #7 begins by losing one rank immediately! After reading this first page, I just sat dumbfounded for 15 seconds.
Am I supposed to high five someone after reading this?
Rose...
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Superboy #6
Anybody else remember when Supergirl was some sort of computer program named Matrix?
Oh no. Tom DeFalco is doing the script on this issue! He’s the guy that decided the Legion Lost comic book wasn’t going in the right direction and he basically trashed the first six issues once he took over the writing job. I guess he can’t do that here though since Scott Lobdell is still...
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Suicide Squad #8
I think Diablo has the advantage here. Unless Deadshot is planning to take him out with the bullet that passes through Harley’s head.
I’m beginning to believe that the editor’s don’t even read the comic they’re supposed to be editing. Last issue ended with a bunch of Squad members still in Gotham Police Headquarters. Deadshot had Harley and the mission was...
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Suicide Squad #7
Shouldn’t Deadshot’s face mask be showing through the Joker mouth?
Harley and The Joker’s face are locked up inside Gotham Police Headquarters. The Suicide Squad needs to break them out and steal them away without anybody knowing any of the members were there. Actually, they can probably leave Joker’s face where it is. And why do they even need Harley Quinn back? So...
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Suicide Squad #6
No. NO! Is that Light and Lime from Green Arrow joining the team? I hope just one of them dies.
Last issue, Harley Quinn started a giant riot in Belle Reve so that she could escape. Now Amanda Waller wants her back and she’s sending out the Suicide Squad to track her down. Everyone is pretty sure she’s headed for Gotham.
And that’s where this comic begins! It looks like the...
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Batman and Robin #8
Homicidal assassins are so cute when they’re sleeping.
Robin has killed in front of Batman. He’s probably killed before. It probably started off finding small dead animals on the streets of Gotham while jogging early in the morning. He’d bring these home and hide them under the porch in front of Wayne Manor. Normally this would escalate to watching other joggers and...
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“Sometime in the past, about three months ago, I must have become aware for the...”
– Philip K Dick, July 8, 1974 [Source: The Exegesis of Philip K Dick]
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“Well, there I went and said it. Any system which says, “This is a rotten...”
– Philip K Dick, Letter to Claudia Bush, July 16, 1974 [Source: The Exegesis of Philip K Dick]
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“I’ve watched my cat, now, as he sits out on the sundeck at night; he is...”
– Philip K Dick, Letter to Peter Fitting, June 28, 1974 [Source: The Exegesis of Philip K Dick]
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Batman and Robin #7
This is a fight nobody can win!
Last issue ended with Batman driving like a maniac toward Gotham Harbor where Nobody was beating the crap out of Robin. Will Batman get there in time? Probably. Because if Robin dies then the title of this comic will become Batman and a comic with that name already exists.
I guess that’s that for the Ambassador.
Batman drives his weird beetle bat car...
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Batman and Robin #6
From Boy Wonder to Demon Seed! Robin, you’re making progress!
Last issue ended with Robin holding a gun up to the gigantic head of some guy that Nobody wanted killed. Will Robin prove himself to Nobody by following orders and killing someone just on Nobody’s word? Robin doesn’t mind killing but he does have his own moral compass. I’m not sure which way it points but I...
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Batgirl #8
I want Grotesque to meet up with Hawkman so that Hawkman can go, “That’s not a mace. This is a mace!” Except I don’t want that to happen if Tony Daniel is writing it!
Last issue, Batgirl was still in the sewers after having chased away Grotesque. She’s now found that one of his henchmen is Danny “The Weasel” Weaver, one of The Joker’s henchmen who...
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Batgirl #7
Is this issue about Batgirl’s body image?
Batgirl is being drowned in a Gotham Sewer by a guy in a demon mask. He’s extra strong like all of the people she has to fight so she can’t free herself from his grip. But she’s clever, she declares, as she pulls her Batgrapple from her utility belt and shoots him in the face with it.
Yeah, real clever. That’s why you...
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Batgirl #6
Batgirl: The Ballet.
Batgirl was just about to get her ass handed to her by a brainwashed Bruce Wayne. Hopefully a brainwashed Bruce Wayne doesn’t have access to all of his great fighting techniques and physical abilities. Since he’s so obsessed with screaming, “338!”, he’ll probably just fight like a wild animal. And I think Batgirl can beat up wild animals.
...
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Mister Terrific #8
Farewell, Mister Terrific! See you on Earth 2!
Donald, Michael Holt’s rival and co-worker, has kidnapped Aleeka, Michael Holt’s closest friend and assistant, and stormed Holt Industries in his mad-capped version of a corporate takeover! Luckily Aleeka was talking with Michael via hologram when Donald was breaking into her house. Donald still looks like a half-zombie, half-robot...
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Mister Terrific #7
I don’t know who your enemy is, Mister Terrific, but I bet he’s a white man. He’s so white you can see right through him! Or maybe his enemy is that Circle Revolution that his jerky co-worker keeps talking about. That makes more sense.
Mister Terrific begins this issue standing in line talking smack about the regular joes of Los Angeles with his EMT buddy. Or maybe it’s...
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Mister Terrific #6
Is the Tomorrow Thief’s secret identity Dan DiDio?
Issue #6 opens with Mister Terrific battling The Tomorrow Thief “somewhere really cold.” Way to take a stand, Eric! It also looks like Mister Terrific has finally succumbed to Narration Box Thought Bubble Disease. Probably because he has to suddenly explain what’s happening because the comic began in the middle of an...
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Legion Lost #8
How many Ravagers are there? Do all of Deathstroke’s children become Ravagers? I mean all of them except that pussy Jericho? Amirite?
When we last left the exciting land of Legion Lost, Tellus had a secret and he was told to “keep his eyes on the road” so that he “doesn’t swerve and hit a tree” and to “save the world with his secret” and...
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Legion Lost #7
Is Timber Wolf the Legion’s answer to Wolverine and Lobo?
Lousy editors: Darren Shan and Brian Cunningham.
Legion teleport into New York City and immediately begin bitching. Dawnstar says, “This is the greatest city of the era?!” First off, that’s highly debatable. Where did she get her information? From New York?
Next, Tellus uses his telepathy to make everyone...
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Legion Lost #6
You mean Legion are going to be captured and have to breakout of something? Spoiler!
In my last commentary, I wrote the scintillating phrase, “Perhaps they’ll learn some answers.” Yes. Perhaps they will learn some answers. And, perhaps, we’ll all learn some answers.
What the fuck was I talking about? “Perhaps they’ll learn some answers?” Jeez! This comic is so...
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Stormwatch #8
So that’s Jenny Quantum’s major power now? Doing equations in the air?
This issue begins with Martian Manhunter relating everything he knows about the Gravity Miners. Apparently he was lying last issue when he said they were an ancient enemy of his people. In this issue, he states that his people believed the Gravity Miners were a legend. That they were “propaganda created by...
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Stormwatch #7
Batman can!
Last issue ended Paul Cornell’s run on Stormwatch. I wonder if Demon Knights and Stormwatch will retain the connection that Cornell was setting up? Or if this Jenkins guy will just drop the whole idea that Merlin formed Stormwatch centuries ago and we’ll never hear another word about that? Writers are so narcissistic. They always have to write about their own ideas...
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Stormwatch #6
I think Daemonites are beneath Stormwatch if Grifter can hold his own against them.
At the end of last issue, Harry the Liar escaped as The Eye of the Storm (Stormwatch Headquarters) was exploding with all of the other members of Stormwatch aboard. Stormwatch has that gate opening teleportation technology so I’m pretty sure they’ll be okay.
But I guess nobody used it in time even...
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Action Comics #8
Seeing as how Brainiac’s ship was Superman’s original Fortress of Solitude, I’m pretty sure I know who is going to win.
There’s a lot going on at the beginning of this comic. Lex Luthor doesn’t want Superman to save them because he believes the end of the world is now imminent and the only way to survive is to stay preserved in the bottle. The human head of the...
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Action Comics #7
Pee in the jar! Pee in the jar!
The alien spaceship with the Terminauts or the Collectors or the Bottlers or whatever they want to call themselves (you know? the guys from three issues ago?) are quickly leaving Earth with a new collector’s variant Bottle of Metropolis. Superman dons an oxygen mask and gets ready to run into outer space. Yes. Run. Because he can’t fly, remember?!
...
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Action Comics #6
What makes Kryptonite so poisonous to Kryptonians?
I don’t know who this little guy thinks he is and neither do the Anti-Superman Army.
The Anti-Superman army have stolen the Kryptonite power source of Superman’s baby rocket and taken it to this little man. Now the little man is asking the Anti-Superman Army what they’ll give him for it! You know, even though they just stole...
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Static Shock #8
I needed some past secrets revealed before reading Issue #6!
As the story opens, Static is chasing some lonely journal-writing lesbian book-reader across the skies of New York. This girl is inside some giant creation that looks to be made of train cars. But it might be made up of various apartments of the building she lived in because the girl is in the main compartment and it looks like a...
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