Teen Titans #2

Thankfully her name isn’t Skitters. And, yes, I photoshopped this cover as well. You’ll have to find the original online to compare.

So Arachnalass turns out to be Skitter. Why, DC? Why can’t you come up with decent Super Hero names? Have they always been this dumb? Let’s see…Superman. Batman. Wonder Woman. Green Lantern. Aquaman. Cyborg.

Oh, yeah. They have! Good job, then!

One guess as to what Kid Flash is doing here!

Kid Flash wakes up in a jail cell. He’s definitely Bart Allen. I’m not sure what his history is or why he has the same last name as the real Flash. I believe he was a descendant of the real Flash and had traveled back in time to become Impulse in the old DCU. But now here he is, Bart Allen, just a kid in the present in the New DCU. Perhaps it’s just a coincidence that he and the real Flash have the same last name.

Red Robin ends up spending the night at Cassie’s while trying to figure out why N.O.W.H.E.R.E. hasn’t attacked her again. He doesn’t do a very good job coming up with an idea. He also doesn’t do a very good job getting into her pants.

Maybe he should play the “I know Batman personally” card!

In the morning, Tim sees a report about a spider girl in Hollywood. He realizes the girl in the report is lying and goes to find out the truth.

Tim can find out the truth but he can’t find a shirt that fits.

Red Robin heads into the sewers to find Skitters before the evil Men from N.O.W.H.E.R.E. can find her first. They do happen to find her first but it isn’t good for them. They’re left traumatized and beshitted while Red Robin has a moment of Old Continuity Clarity:

There have been others?

Perhaps Tim Drake is trying to start this Teen Titans deal because Nightwing and Starfire have already done the Teen Titans thing over the last five years. Or less since we need to allow time for Dick Grayson to move out from under Batman’s shadow. Unless Nightwing was never a Robin! That could be the case.

I think Red Robin just accidentally referred to all of those Teen Titans covers I posted in the last issue reading. You know, teams from another Universe that he shouldn’t know anything about! Although he is pretty smart!

Red Robin fails to get Cassie on the team. But that’s okay because she’s a big giant jerk. She’s a thief and she’s got an attitude and she doesn’t have a Super Hero name (not even a stupid one!). But Red Robin does catch Skitters and takes her away unconscious. I don’t know how good she’ll be to the team since all she seemed to say were things like KKKKKK and KTHTHTHCKCKCKCK and KKKKIIILLLLL.

Back at N.O.W.H.E.R.E. (that is so annoying to type!), Kid Flash escapes his cell and stumbles upon the smoky girl from the cover of Issue #1. Her name is Solstice!

Bunker? El Fisto’s name is actually Bunker? I prefer El Fisto and Archnalass and 420.