Men of War #2

That’s a pretty virulent strain of herpes.

Men of War continues with Rock and his company taking shelter in the house of a man who doesn’t really want them there. In his house. In his city. In his country. Rock and his men are just as confused as the owner of their new shelter. The super being was an unknown factor. Nobody knows what it was or where it came from or why it appeared as they began the mission. But whatever it was, it seemed to be taken down by some “black muck” and it crashed into the ocean. But not before setting the entire city on fire, killing the group’s Sergeant, and severely wounding Rock’s right arm.

The team makes its way to the building where the senator is being kept hostage. They toss in a flash grenade and a stunner to take out the guards. And the senator! Even after they save his life, I bet he gets all angry and uppity about that. Except that would be unpatriotic and an unreelectable thing to do! So even if his hearing and vision is damaged, he’ll still be patriotically pleased with the rescue.

As the team is cleaning up, the super powered being enters.

That’s a pretty complicated question, miss. The answer probably isn’t ‘Patriotism’ even though most flag loving Americans love to believe that’s the main reason for everyone in the service.

This lady rockets up into the sky taking Rock with her. The woman calls herself Circe. I have no idea if she’s meant to be Wonder Woman’s Circe or not. She looks exactly like Batwoman though! She tells Rock that he and his people are not wanted here and to tell his leaders to not return.

Is this how Sgt. Rock becomes a protestor for peace?

Then she drops him out of the sky and he burns up but then he wakes up in a helicopter with the senator sitting in front of him and then it’s a week later and one of Rock’s team is telling him everything is gone, the helo, the black box… What the fuck? Is that how you end this thing? Sure, sure. The overall storyline is going to continue next month. But that’s how you this thing ends? Is Rock just having lapses in memory and consciousness now? Does he only get to remember bits and pieces? I blame changing the format to 20 page stories for this bullshit! Gotta pack it all in!

So, Rock falls to earth and comes to on the Helicopter with everyone else. Less pages and less care being taken to fill the pages with enough story, so it’s easier to just skip forward and make Rock miss out on all the in-between as well. And then we need a lead-in to the next part of the story line! So we’ll cram it all confusingly into the last page where Rock’s buddy tells him how the Senator disappeared in a helicopter somewhere between New York and Washington, DC. I had to read these last three pages about five times to figure out that the Senator [probably!?] disappeared on a different helicopter than the one they show Rock on with his men. It’s just all crammed in so haphazardly. I think the editor just looked at it and went, “What the fuck?” Then Ivan Brandon, the writer, explained to the editor what was going on in a way that should have been explained in the comic. And then the editor went, oh, okay, that makes sense when YOU FUCKING TELL ME ABOUT IT! The editor should have said, “Hey, why don’t you write it so you don’t have to fucking explain it, you stupid hack?” I bet the editor didn’t say that because the editor didn’t want to look stupid. The editor probably didn’t even mention anything. He just read it and thought, “I don’t get it. But I’m not telling that arrogant bastard of a writer that I don’t get it or he’ll think I’m just a stupid editor!”

Hmm. Maybe I should get something to eat! I think my low blood sugar is making me crazy!

The back-up story is the second part to the Navy Seals thing called ‘Human Shields’! It’s probably another eight pages of dumb. I guess I should read it to give it a chance.

Fuck, why did I read that.

The haphazard craptastic way the main story ended forces me to drop this title by one rank. And the back-up story is just boring bullshit yet it tacks another dollar onto the price of the comic. So that means Men of War is dropping two ranks this month! Losers!