This is my favorite image of Harley so far. And Amanda’s looking a little pudgy there, so that works too.
Even with the potential to blow off their heads at any moment, Amanda Waller doesn’t think the Suicide Squad know their place. So she brought in consultant a consultant to help her treat them poorly,
James Gordon Jr The Corinthian. While her psychological bullshit may have truly fucked with the majority of the Squad, Harley Quinn trained with the master of the mind fuck. So she wasn’t fazed at all. Also Voltaic exploded while being Samsara’d. Hopefully Amanda will have to go back to the stupid plot device drawing board with that program while Squad members actually have to die for a bit.
The non-real beginning begins with a gigantic creature composed of corpses smashing up Las Vegas while the Suicide Squad tries to stop it and keep Amanda Waller alive. Hopefully this King Kong Korpse is a by-product of the Samsara Project and proof that it’s not feasible to keep it going. But forget that opening. It doesn’t actually matter yet. Let’s go back to the present where Harley Quinn is proving what I said last paragraph.
From what I’ve seen of The Unknown Soldier in G.I. Combat, he’ll merely be slightly inconvenienced by that wound.
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With a change of writers, I’m hoping more people than just Lime Light will end up dying. Fucking Adam Glass! How hard is it to make Suicide Squad successful? You change up the team every few issues, you kill off old B-List villains hardly anybody remembers, and you put Captain Boomerang on the team! That one sentence was a more successful issue than any Adam Glass wrote!
Last issue Deadshot was killed. Again. Also The Unknown Soldier showed up because the main thing this team has been lacking is a Rick Flag wannabe. Also the comic has been lacking a guy with bandages all over his face. And a guy with an enormous penis. I mean a guy with an enormous penis that isn’t also a shark.
The issue begins back at Belle Reve where Deadshot is undergoing another infusion of Samsara. Voltaic is playing Scrabble with Harley Quinn but zombies suck at Scrabble so he doesn’t stand a chance. A mysterious classified person meets with Amanda to discuss some of the other inmates.
David Graves, the cancer-ridden writer that’s currently writing a book for Amanda. I think. That was a long time ago. Cheetah, the God of Cheetahs. She’s waiting around to be rescued by
The Legion of Doom The Secret Society of Super-villains. King Shark, the Shark. He’s busy reading and turning into a giant vegan pansy.
I suppose with a new writer, a lot of characters are going to go through instant changes without any rhyme or reason.
See? Voltaic is no longer simply a reanimated corpse! He’s a real, living, talking, Scrabble playing boy!
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Why is he defeating them if he’s their new leader? This story is going to be stupid, isn’t it?
Last issue, Deadshot shot Yo Yo in his Neck Bomb to kill Red Orchid. It was really stupid because there were so many other options to choose from. Deadshot could have shot Red Orchid. Maybe that wouldn’t have worked because it would have been like shooting a tree. Well, Yo Yo could have choked her with his elastic neck. Maybe that wouldn’t have worked because it would have been like choking a tree. Hmm. Yo Yo could have bitten her head off with his elastic jaw muscles! I bet that would have worked because trees shouldn’t have heads.
Shooting the bomb apparently killed Red Orchid and Yo Yo although nobody actually dies in the pages of the Suicide Squad, so Yo Yo will be okay. Besides, he spent weeks in King Shark’s belly and was no worse for the digestion. But the entire penthouse came crashing down on the other Squad member’s heads. But remember how nobody on the Squad ever dies? Yeah, they’ll be okay.
Mere seconds ago, Waller was in Louisiana. Now she’s suddenly in Gotham. I hate short cut story telling bullshit like this. Adam Glass, are you proposing I institute my Patented Drop-a-Rank Review System this issue? Because MINUS ONE RANKING!
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Who decided Red Robin’s costume needed a huge fanny pack?
Last issue, Red Robin had just introduced his Titans to their new headquarters on a boat in New York. Later that evening, he was possessed by Raven, fucked every member of his team, and then sat in his security monitor room laughing his ass off. I might have gotten some of that incorrect. But that’s okay because I’m just the guy reading the comic book. But the guy writing the comic book shouldn’t just drop all that stuff, right?
Fucking Scott Lobdell. I’m sure this issue begins in a dream since Tim Drake is crying while sitting in the Batmobile and dead Damian Wayne is telling him to stop being such a bitch. But even as a dream, it’s fucking ridiculous. It makes sense that Scott Lobdell can just crowbar this scene into his story since even he doesn’t know where any of his stories are going from month to month. So when he ended the issue with Raven taking over Tim Drake, he probably learned that Damian’s death would have to be dealt with in his next issue. While other writers already had stories that they probably had outlines for or had written much of when editorial forced them to shoe horn in a page or two mentioning Damian’s death, Scott Lobdell has the freedom to write as many pages as he wants dealing with Damian’s death because Lobdell probably didn’t have any notes for this issue except for “Raven comes to New York. Shit goes down.”
I’m not sure how or when Tim found out about Damian’s death since he was in Gotham when Damian died. Perhaps he was simply in denial as he traveled back up to New York and it wasn’t until Raven made him begin processing his feelings that he was able to have this hallucinatory conversation with Damian.
How many issues has it been where I said I hated Scott Lobdell’s writing? He’s the worst.
Bullshit! You became a super hero out of arrogance. And obviously Damian is only agreeing with you because he’s simply a hallucination.
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Instead of the letters in the title representing a gun and a target, they should represent dead people coming back to life.
I just finished rereading Giffen’s 12 issue run from around 2001-2002. I remember really enjoying it back when it came back and on rereading it, I liked it even better. Just about every character probably says “What’s that supposed to mean?” or “Meaning what?” a fair number of times past too often, but the dialogue was still fun. I liked the set-up in that there were really four stories being explored throughout the series. There was the Suicide Squad field team, the Suicide Squad Operations team, Amanda Waller and her daughter, Havana, and lastly Frank Rock and Bulldozer and the mystery of why they were still alive and, ultimately, who they really were. My guess is Rock was actually The Unknown Soldier but no idea about Bulldozer. Perhaps it actually was him getting younger and Amanda’s statement at the end of the series that Rock and Bulldozer died in 1945 was simply because every member of the Squad Ops Team constantly gets a new identity while the old identity is killed. Anyway, it worked and it was a nice take on the Squad and people died a lot and stayed dead. Well, they stayed dead in the pages of the Suicide Squad, anyway. I also really liked the art but then I’ve always been a big fan of exaggerated features and animation style. As long as exaggerated features are consistent and you can tell the artist can draw! I’m not talking about accidentally exaggerated features that don’t match up from panel to panel ala Rob Liefeld.
Next dip into the Suicide Squad’s past will be to read my favorite comic book series of all time after Shade the Changing Man, Ostrander’s run on the book. That should set me up to read Gail Simone’s Secret Six since I only just recently realized that Ostrander writes some of those issues and also comes through with Suicide Squad #67 many years later! Can’t wait for that! But until then, I’ve got Adam Glass’s superficial Resurrection Squad which I am enjoying for what it is. Unless I’m only really enjoying blogging about it. At this point, I can’t see nor do I care about the difference!
Back to the current Squad, Regulus had just returned from the grave surprising nobody. For some reason he’s hanging out with Red Orchid. I suppose that’s the reason the Squad has been assigned to kill Red Orchid. Or it could be that the package really is Mitch Shelley which is why Regulus and Amanda are after him. They’re both apparently in the resurrection business (Regulus could be in the cloning business!), so they’d want the guy that could really kick up their profit margin. Even though Amanda already has one of his hands. I bet having his brain would be much better.
Okay, I admit it. Lawton missing his mustache is pretty annoying. Not enough of a reason to tear your hair out about about The New 52! And not as stupid as making Amanda skinny and extremely competent in combat. And not as big a deal as changing Harley’s costume although I did prefer the “cute” version over the “hawt” version. But it’s definitely annoying. None of these are reasons to point to Suicide Squad as a bad title though. Look to the writing for that!
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Yo Yo is seriously trying to be my favorite male DC character. He survived months inside King Shark’s intestines! Now if he could just meet up with Batgirl’s roommate, Alysia Yeoh, that would be the superesterestly cutest couple ever!
The Suicide Squad was on their way to kill Yo Yo’s sister Red Orchid. And by kill, I mean turn her into a corpse until one of the various means of resurrection within the DC Universe is used to bring her back to life. Now that Voltaic came back last issue, I believe the only people to die after 17 issues of Suicide Squad are
Lime Light, Mad Dog, Grey Lora, and Regulus. But seeing as how Grey Lora was alive and well in the pages of Teen Titans, I’m pretty certain Regulus is as well. And Mad Dog could easily have been slightly wounded when he was supposedly killed since he wasn’t a member of the team and his body was just left for hyenas or rednecks. That leaves Light who had her head completely blown off so I don’t want to see her snobby ass anywhere near this comic book ever again! Although she has been seen multiple times as a hallucination by her sister. So I’m not sure that death even counts!
Here’s to hoping somebody fucking dies this issue.
Random no-named gang members don’t count!
Once upon a time in Metropolis, Yo Yo and Red Orchid had normal names. Red Orchid was a famous scientist that probably wasn’t that famous because who knows anything about current scientists except nerds and other nerds? So perhaps she was simply a reputable scientist with a flare for geothermic reactors. Her brother Yo Yo was a two-bit hood with a pile of gambling debts and a future in Amanda Waller’s Suicide Squad. But other than Red Orchid’s disapproval for Yo Yo’s way of life, they seemed to get along. Until Yo Yo wanted to borrow more money. And then his sister was all, “I hate you!” And Yo Yo was all, “No you don’t! You’re just a cheap prick!” And then Superman got into a fight with Brainiac and the geothermal reactor exploded and Yo Yo and Red Orchid got super powers! The end!
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For a comic book that I once relied on to actually kill characters, this Suicide Squad is having real trouble keeping its members in the grave.
After commenting on last issue, I realized that I hadn’t quite grasped the scope to which people hate The New 52 relaunch. But when I began to read that people were bitching about Floyd Lawton not having a mustache, it hit me. I finally realized that haters gonna hate. And nit. And pick. And moan. And whine. And bitch. You know, there are legitimate reasons to be upset about DC’s New 52 for fans of the Preboot Universe. But Floyd Lawton’s mustache? Let’s not make the argument against The New 52 weaker by whinging on about superficial bullshit. I mean, by all means, whinge on about everything you want! I’m not The New 52 police and I’m definitely not the counsel for the defense of it. Pile on everything that’s different as a “con.” I just don’t see how Floyd missing his mustache ruins the fucking experience. There are plenty of other things doing that already!
I guess every time a fan has to look at the face without a mustache standing next to skinny Amanda Waller and whore-costume Harley Quinn, it’s like an ice pick to the heart and a reminder that this isn’t the world they’re used to. But I have a super secret super secret: I’m enjoying Suicide Squad. Here’s a superer secret super secret: I enjoyed Keith Giffen’s run on Suicide Squad and was severely disappointed when it came to an end! And here’s the supererest secret super secret of all: I never read Gail Simone’s The Secret Six! Now, now. Don’t choke on your cheetos. I’ll get around to it. It’s just that before The New 52, I hadn’t read many comic books for about eight years. Which is why I’m the target audience for DC’s relaunch. A mega-fan that had wandered away from the flock during some history heavy years and now is back to enjoy a brand new start! So ha ha! I’m reveling in their welcome, embracing, Grifter-writing arms while they ignore your hurt feelings and shattered psyches!
Everyone loves a gloater, right? Do I have that right? I’m sure I have that right!
But how what? How did somebody put an orange shirt on you?
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Oh my. Patching things up already?
This issue isn’t specifically a Death of the Family crossover but it does continue where last issue (and Batman #13) left off. Harley has just gotten Batman trapped in a vat of chemicals and has been strung up by The Joker. So far, it’s one of their better dates. Harley eventually blacks out (still a good date!) and awakens in a state of confusion about recent events.
How many times is he going to threaten to cut off her face as well?
When does Deadshot come galloping in on a white Segway to save the day?
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Is Deadshot a zombie? Is Grifter fucking spoiling the fact that Deadshot isn’t actually dead? If he wasn’t dead before, he is now because Deadshot is not bullet proof.
With Grifter’s last issue having him face off against the Suicide Squad, I suddenly have a sinking feeling deep in the place where I’d have a soul if I believed in souls. Oh wait. That’s my brain creating physiological reactions in my body based on the fear of Grifter becoming a member of the Suicide Squad when this series ends twenty crappy pages from now. At least the end of the world is coming for Grifter today. Let’s all take a moment and rejoice in that.
Look at that idiot. Just look at that cover! This guy has no imagination. He’s some kind of 12th Level Telekinetic but his Imagination Attribute peaked at 3 (probably out of 18 if we’re going to be classical about attribute scores here). His big schtick is to simply fire more guns with his mind. Grifter, you’re the greatest fucking genius in the world. If, you know, the world were composed of you, fungus, and hamsters.
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